[From original facebook post from https://www.facebook.com/ibrahim.hindy.94]
It might seem like an obvious thing, but I’ve had a number of parents ask me to speak to their troubled children. Usually the first question I ask the kid is: “Do your parents love you?” Half the time they’ll reply: “I don’t know”.
Too many parents withhold that type of love and affirmation from their children. And it leads to so many developmental and emotional issues. As Dave (Chappelle) mentions, the confidence level of a child really suffers when they don’t know that their parents truly value them. Lack of confidence and a lack of self-worth leads a lot of children down troubled paths. It can affect their behavior, demeanor and even their mental health in very deep and sweeping ways.
It’s narrated that our Prophet (ﷺ) would kiss the forehead of his daughter whenever he would enter his home, a beautiful and daily affirmation of love. Anas ibn Malik said “I’ve never seen anyone more compassionate to children than the Messenger of Allah”.
Usama ibn Zaid narrated that the Prophet (ﷺ) would carry him and al-Hasan on his lap as children, and hug them and say “O Allah show them mercy, for indeed I am merciful to them”.
The examples can go on but through them we can see something essential. This Prophetic compassion and love builds a child’s self-worth and self-respect. And when someone has self-respect and self-worth they will view themselves as too noble to debase themselves with sins and vile behavior.
Reply: Just a thought: Could there be a fathers anonymous set up? Where fathers talk about parenting and explore the meaning and the how on using love in light of feeling frustration with their kids? Fathers are men and also need love. A lot of times it’s frustrating to be told to give love but not feel like it’s being received. YET, deep down they might feel guilty they are overexerting at times but either need to show face and can’t back down because it’s become a trend OR this is the only way they deal with the situation and can’t see another style of communication. Because no outlets exist, posts like this are just a blip and go away. Some type of action is required to explore these ideas. p.s. fathers need love, guidance, and mentorship too!